How To Restore A Relationship After You’ve Had An Affair

The topic of marriage being rocked by affairs seems to be in the news quite often, although we usually pay more attention to it when those involved are celebrities, sports stars or politicians. At any particular week in my couples counseling practice I usually have at least one couple that is trying to recover from an affair. And each month, at least one person emails or posts a question on my website, asking if it is possible to recover from an affair.

Discuss the concept of going to counseling singapore together. If one of you is reluctant to go to couples counselling, you need to break the exact reason down. If the reason is due to time constraints, or the feeling that you are airing dirty laundry, then this can be easily overcome. There are some wonderful counselling books and guides that can help ease your partners pain as well as yours, I have listed two at the bottom. You can work on this type of counselling together at your own pace in your own time. It is far less”public” than having to make an appointment, and you can spend as long as you need on each area it covers.

If it’s a lot, have you found out why? Is it just recent, and maybe caused by problems or stress in her life you don’t know about? Or was she just nice in the beginning, and the thoughtless, uncaring person is the real one? Is she even aware of hurting other people or taking them for granted and the effect that has on them? Try saying this to her in a calm moment: “When you do x, it makes me feel x, because x.” Then listen.

It’s curious how cheating partner’s unconsciously let their partner’s know they are cheating as if they want the main issue to comes out into the open. Cheating interrupts the emotional bond between two people. The break in trust hurts, shocks and shakes the betrayed partner. Often can be worked through in relationship counselling to build a stronger partnership. It’s a tough process and takes time to work through the root issues to a develop a more realistic sense of trust.

If you come from a family that has very strong familial relationship and both of your parents have lived together for a very long time, you can ask help from them. Just be sure that they have a good relationship with each other and there is love, trust and respect between the two of them. If it is not your parents, you can ask some other couples that have lived together for a long time for save marriage advice. Ask help and advice from them on what to do to keep your marriage. Surely all couples have been through storms and it can be fixed. Ask the couple on how they dealt with the difficulties of marriage and how they stayed strong amidst the difficulties.

As you become stronger with the passing days, clearer in your thoughts, more confident in your abilities, the next action step is to focus on you. On your needs. Your desires. You’ve been through so much. In truth, the “you” in you – your inner self, your sense of joy, anticipation, excitement, and, yes, in a word – FUN – has been put on hold. While you struggled with the agony of your partner’s affair. It’s over now. Now it’s your turn. Now it’s time for YOU. So celebrate you!

If you have done the couples counselling and everything else, and still find you are unhappy, it is probably safe to assume you gave it your best. Many people try and stay together for the children but when there is strife and chaos this is not always the best thing. Sometimes co-parenting from separate homes is healthier for the kids. When the final split is made, you will need to decide upon splitting items and valuables, storing things that do not fit in your new flat and make a number of other tough choices. Just remember time heals all wounds and whilst it may seem so, it is not the end of the world.